Some experts think that premature ejaculation or PE is not really a medical condition, but a marketing tool by corporations who just want to sell their products. There’s no such thing as a “standard time” that separates well-performing men from men suffering from PE. Still, if you’re always reaching orgasm 30 seconds into sexual intercourse, you and your partner will most likely have problems with sexual satisfaction. If you want to last longer and you want to make your partner happier, the following tips will help you achieve this goal.
- Masturbate before having sex: Masturbating about an hour before having sex delays orgasm. Since the bulk of the excitement is already gone from your system, your body works harder to reach peak sexual enjoyment the second time around. The only problem with this technique is that it’s not applicable to unplanned sexual intercourse. You have to know when exactly you’re going to have sex to prepare yourself sufficiently.
- Stop and start technique: This technique simply maximizes the time before ejaculation, giving your partner enough time to feel sexual gratification. To do this, bring yourself as near as possible to the highest peak of excitement before ejaculation, and then stop all stimulation before it’s too late. You may need to remove your entire penis from the vagina, or just stop thrusting for a moment until stimulation ebbs. For many men, the urgent feeling to ejaculate usually subsides after about 30 seconds, after which you can resume intercourse.
The key to this technique is communication. Stay committed to lasting longer, and let your partner know that you’re nearing orgasm. Tell her to slow down or temporarily stop, so that you can enjoy sex better. Don’t feel ashamed of yourself because you’re doing it to both your advantage anyway. The technique can be repeated several times, and can also be done with the hand, with or without lubricant.
- The squeeze technique: You can do this technique during sex, or you can practice it at home while masturbating. If you want to practice it at home, it’s recommended that you do it at least three times a week. Don’t give up if you don’t get positive results after a few tries because it takes a while to get the hang of it. Here are the steps involved:
- Step 1: Find the right place to squeeze, which is just below the head or glans of your penis. If you’re uncircumcised, pull back your foreskin to reveal the glans.
- Step 2: Stroke your whole genital area, including the glans, the shaft, the testicles, the perineum (the area behind the balls), and the anal rim, so that you’ll feel how each part reacts to stimulation.
- Step 3: Practice pleasuring these parts, so that you’ll know how each part feels when you’re close to orgasm.
- Step 4: Bring yourself to the highest point of arousal before ejaculation, then squeeze your penis firmly, and hold it for 20 to 30 seconds. If you’re successful, the urge to ejaculate should subside, but you can still regain it by resuming masturbation. Try the exercise again if you squeeze too late, and try to squeeze earlier than before.
- Step 5: Repeat the exercise three times, and then allow yourself to come.
During sexual intercourse, either you or your partner can squeeze your penis. If you’re too close to climax, it’s advisable that you should do it yourself to prevent further stimulation. Once the urge subsides, you can resume sex.
- Extend foreplay: Men often think of sex as involving only vaginal penetration. They forget about foreplay, leading to premature ejaculation. The best sexual experience involves the whole body, from head to toe. Learn to pleasure your partner’s whole body and yours to get the most out of sex. Massage her or give her oral sex to give her pleasure while keeping your excitement to manageable levels. Think of penetration as the main course to a sumptuous dinner, reserving the best for last.
- Breathe deeply and think of something else: Premature ejaculation may result from too much tension, anxiety, or excitement. You have to learn to relax yourself and keep your focus despite the flood of pleasure. Breathing deeply suppresses your excitement during intercourse. Another technique is to think of something else while penetrating, like football or the office. Try to remember the lineup of a football team, the players’ names, and their numbers – anything to distract you from the sensation. In addition, some men report that drinking a glass of red wine before lovemaking relaxes the body.
- Do the Kegel: Like women, men can also do pelvic muscle exercises, also called Kegel exercises. Pelvic exercise tightens the vagina during sex for women, while in men, it helps control ejaculation. During ejaculation, the pelvic muscles force the semen from the prostate gland. If you can gain control of these muscles, you will be able to delay ejaculation significantly.
To do the exercise, simply flex your pelvic muscles as if you’re holding back urination. Hold the muscles for about to three to five seconds, relax for about three seconds, and then repeat. Practice this every day, and you should be able to work your way up to 10 seconds of holding your pelvic muscles. You may even be able to do as many as 100 contractions per day through daily training. The best thing about this exercise is that you can do it anytime and in any place.
- Moan: Making some noise in the bedroom helps delay orgasm by releasing tension. Moaning while making love helps lots of men and women to relax and last longer. Your partner may also derive pleasure from the sound of your moaning.
- Perform different sexual positions: The traditional missionary position can be fun, but it’s harder to control ejaculation with this position because you have to hold yourself up. Try making love with the woman on top, as this position relaxes you more. Gravity also contributes to the delaying power of this position since the downward pull holds your semen back.
The woman on top position is not the only one you should try. Changing positions every so often helps by giving you brief pauses during sex. Explore more positions, and you may find something that really reduces your sexual arousal and makes you last longer.
- Wear a condom: The simplest way to prevent premature ejaculation is by wearing a condom. It not only shields you from sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), and acts as a contraceptive, but it also reduces sensation during sex. Lots of men don’t wear condoms because of this reason, but if you’re suffering from premature ejaculation, it certainly helps to turn down the sensation a bit.
- Use desensitizing creams: Desensitizing creams or penile skin creams work by reducing the sensation felt during intercourse. They lengthen your staying power, but they come with a price: they dull sensation, and could make sex less pleasurable. If you think you have serious difficulties handling sensation during sex, however, a dollop of cream may be the perfect solution for you. Just make sure to tell your partner that you’re using cream because it can be transferred to her, making it also longer for her to reach orgasm.
- Try a testicular restraint: When you’re thrusting during sex, testicular movement may cause you to feel more sensation, contributing to premature ejaculation. Restrain the testicles from moving during sexual intercourse to delay ejaculation. A Velcro-like device called a testicular restraint has this effect, although some men find it uncomfortable or too much hassle to wear. It’s sold through some erotic mail-order magazines and on the Internet, usually along other BDSM products.
- Wear a penis ring: Aside from testicular restraint, there are other devices that may help you prevent premature ejaculation. An erotic device called a penis ring works by squeezing the base of the penis. Some penis rings or bands are designed to keep the blood in the penis after reaching orgasm. These rings allow you to satisfy your partner with a hard erection even after you’ve ejaculated. Your partner though may feel cheated since you don’t derive pleasure from doing it.
- Consider herbal treatment: Tribulus terrestris, marketed under the brand name Libilov, has been found by many scientific studies to help men overcome premature ejaculation without any side effect. It also boosts sex drive, increases control and stamina, and even improves sensation. There’s no harm in trying this herbal treatment to make your sexual life more enjoyable.
- Think about medications: Keep in mind that not everyone in the scientific community agrees that premature ejaculation is a medical condition. It may just be a unique problem between you and your sexual partner, and you may not have the same problem if you were with a different person. Still, if you think you need medicines to “cure” your condition, consider taking some pills or antidepressants. Consult your doctor before taking antidepressants because they are known to cause various side effects that are difficult to manage.
While all of the above-mentioned tips and techniques work well, the best way to last longer in bed is to practice. Long, sensual, and pleasurable sexual intercourse is a craft that can only be mastered by repetition. Don’t be too hard on yourself if you fail a few times. You’ll soon get it right through practice and having confidence in yourself.
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